Lauryn Hill is my girl

I recently was trapped in a conversation with all white males under the age of thirty about how Lauryn Hill is a racist. Although I would never cite any of them as culturally aware as I think I am (come on...), some of their points were valid. We were at a local bar and accompanied drinks with music of our choice. There was an Itunes box (a more evolved jukebox containing many more songs) and I helped put some money in and pick some songs that I felt the whole bar would enjoy--Lauryn Hill's "Doo Wop" was one of them. Digressing from what we thought "that thing, that thing" meant, we landed upon the topic of LHill as a racist--and my heart dropped. Am I in denial? I know I have heard it before, the same rant of "Hill said she'd rather have her children starve than have a white person buy her album..." And one of the guys present said, "...yea, and guess who the CEO of her record label is...probably a white guy." So for some minutes, they all dispelled their opinion of the craziness that LHill spews, and were tempted to call her ignorant, as I sat half-numb just listening, not wanting to agree. And inevitably, the time came for them to notice how silent I had been:
"Votey, what do you think?...about this racist crap?"
Me: "Well, I love her. She's so talented...and I don't want to call her racist. You have to understand the context of her saying it...we weren't there. We don't know why she felt that way. ..." trailing off...
Them: "That comment is totally ignorant... Wait, you can't even use ignorant, that's not the right word for it."
Me: "It's hard for me to talk shit about her. She was one of the first albums I bought and got me through a lot of-"
Them: "Heartache..." mockingly
Me: "Yes, that and her lyrics are so amazing. Lauryn Hill is my girl."
Them: "We can't forget The Fugees though...she made that Oooh La La."
Thank Godness we digressed to how awesome The Fugees were and took focus off LHill and the conversation went to how slightly ridiculous they thought Wyclef Jean was. I couldn't admit it at the time, but maybe for once, my moral compass had gone haywire because I am biased in my opinion of LHill. Is it that awful that I feel she can make those racist (albeit slightly radical) comments? She is an African-American female who grew up in Jersey, an area I am not familiar with. And part of me thinks America believes she really said that just because it was in one of Eminem's songs...more denial? These guys that I had the conversation with also didn't realize they were in the pinnacle of all that is white privilege, and that I was the lone contender to even put up an argument, even for the devil's sake. White privilege, a term not used often enough, not understood enough, even in today's America where we awesomely have a non-white contender for presidency. White privilege...I digress, but I now hop to more pressing current news...Election 08. I rarely endorse by stuffing my opinions down others' throats, but these points are so honest, they burn. Read and agree: Tim Wise's "This is your nation on white privilege"

For those who still can’t grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because “every family has challenges,” even as black and Latino families with similar “challenges” are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a “fuckin’ redneck,” like Bristol Palin’s boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you'll “kick their fuckin' ass,” and talk about how you like to “shoot shit” for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don’t all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you’re “untested.”


White privilege is being able to say that you support the words “under God” in the pledge of allegiance because “if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it’s good enough for me,” and not be immediately disqualified from holding office--since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the “under God” part wasn’t added until the 1950s--while if you're black and believe in reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), you're a dangerous and mushy liberal who isn't fit to safeguard American institutions.


White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you.


White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto is “Alaska first,” and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you're black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she’s being disrespectful.


White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you’re being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college and the fact that she lives near Russia, you’re somehow being mean, or even sexist.


White privilege is being able to convince white women who don’t even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because all of a sudden your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a “second look.”


White privilege is being able to fire people who didn’t support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt.


White privilege is when you can take nearly twenty-four hours to get to a hospital after beginning to leak amniotic fluid, and still be viewed as a great mom whose commitment to her children is unquestionable, and whose "next door neighbor" qualities make her ready to be VP, while if you're a black candidate for president and you let your children be interviewed for a few seconds on TV, you're irresponsibly exploiting them.

White privilege is being able to give a 36-minute speech in which you talk about lipstick and make fun of your opponent, while laying out no substantive policy positions on any issue at all, and still manage to be considered a legitimate candidate, while a black person who gives an hour speech the week before, in which he lays out specific policy proposals on several issues, is still criticized for being too vague about what he would do if elected.

White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God’s punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you’re just a good church-going Christian, but if you’re black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you’re an extremist who probably hates America.


White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a “trick question,” while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O’Reilly means you’re dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.


White privilege is being able to go to a prestigious prep school, then to Yale and Harvard Business School (George W. Bush), and still be seen as an "average guy," while being black, going to a prestigious prep school, then Occidental College, then Columbia, and then Harvard Law, makes you "uppity" and a snob who probably looks down on regular folks.

White privilege is being able to graduate near the bottom of your college class (McCain), or graduate with a C average from Yale (W.), and that's OK, and you're still cut out to be president, but if you're black and you graduate near the top of your class from Harvard Law, you can't be trusted to make good decisions in office.

White privilege is being able to dump your first wife after she's disfigured in a car crash so you can take up with a multi-millionaire beauty queen (who you then go on to call the c-word in public) and still be thought of as a man of strong family values, while if you're black and married for nearly 20 years to the same woman, your family is viewed as un-American and your gestures of affection for each other are called "terrorist fist bumps."

White privilege is when you can develop a pain-killer addiction, having obtained your drug of choice illegally like Cindy McCain, go on to beat that addiction, and everyone praises you for being so strong, while being a black guy who smoked pot a few times in college and never became an addict means people will wonder if perhaps you still get high, and even ask whether or not you may have sold drugs at some point.

White privilege is being able to sing a song about bombing Iran and still be viewed as a sober and rational statesman, with the maturity to be president, while being black and suggesting that the U.S. should speak with other nations, even when we have disagreements with them, makes you dangerously naive and immature.

White privilege is being able to say that you hate "gooks" and "will always hate them," and yet, you aren't a racist because, ya know, you were a POW, so you're entitled to your hatred, while being black and noting that black anger about racism is understandable, given the history of your country, makes you a dangerous bigot.

White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism and an absent father is apparently among the "lesser adversities" faced by other politicians, as Sarah Palin explained in her convention speech.

And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren’t sure about that whole “change” thing. Ya know, it’s just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain…


White privilege is, in short, the problem.

Please go and vote.

Addonizionism

I was finally so lucky this past week to overcome some passive-aggressive behavior at work and decided to shirk duties that only I could perform perfectly. I took Friday off--in honor of my birthday, in honor of my parents coming to visit from two hrs away, in honor of that little "treat" to myself, in honor of all Woolf-lovers out there who understand that sometimes a woman needs "a room of one's own" for writing, sculpting, contemplating. And it was the biggest splurge when I decided to stroll around campus, where my natural habitat had been for the past four years--a place that I had so missed, with its strangely familiar faces and pedestrians with places to go. Almost crow-like, I decided on the shiniest side of town, built up recently with coffee shops, juice bars, tanning beds, theaters and a HUGE Barnes & Noble. I'm a poor Grad Student, and never understood what "No Fees for G.A.s" stickers posted all around campus meant until I was there myself. Splurging this particular day meant, buying a coffee drink I actually had to be made.
But once stepping into the Barnes & Noble and hitting the air-conditioned stacks, I let out a true sigh of relief. I could finally allow space in my brain for some pleasure-reading. I had intended the reading to be a perusal of the latest InStyle magazine, or maybe a glimpse at who's fucking who, but after finding that this campus B&N had no visible magazine stack (was it fate?), I strolled right into the "Poetry" corner. And truly, it was just that--a corner. One solitary bookcase, one-sided that contained all of the poetry that this particular B&N could offer. How sad. And I immediately let the clerk shelving books nearby know this. With a harumph of playful disbelief, I said, "Seriously, there's only shelf for Poetry?" I'm sure I sounded snotty, or he probably thought I was trying to sound smarter than I really was. But one bookshelf?! You are kidding. Would any other bookstore stand for this? one of the greatest genres of literature and life..?
Anyway, since there was only one, I decided that it must have been because it contained all the quintessential works: Milton, Whitman, Hughes, Angelou, Wordsworth, Shax, you know. But I was more disappointed that I had to sift long and hard before I came up with "The Best of's...." Milton and maybe some Housman, more disappointment, they weren't even full works. But still possessing crow-like tendencies, a glint caught my eye and there was Kim Addonizio's "What is this thing called love?" poking from the shelf, a lone copy. The cover was enough to have me at hello: a photo of a man (shirtless and placid at the end of the bed, head resting on crossed arms) and a woman (with her head cut off by the camera angle, putting/taking off her top). The bed sheets were rumpled, and you can see the doorway from the perspective of the photo. From this picture alone, I could read so much. The loose interpretations fit perfectly with the title of the collection of poems, and after reading several titles like "31 year-old-lover," "Ex-boyfriends," "Bad Girl," and "Fuck" I knew that this was just what my day needed.
Now, those titles mentioned may not make you suddenly sit down on the dirtied carpet of a bookstore in the middle of the day, but I did. And I'm sure the clerk still thought I was either weird or pretentious. But this book was calling me. First, because it had the balls to have such titles that clearly reflected the ripples of my life, and because it had the balls to call a poem "Fuck." Addonizio is like the reminder to me that my work does have a Muse--even if it is so vague and infinite--though it still exists. Her works that I have read thus far don't simply include categories of reasons why saying "fuck" is cool, but it carries individualized and universal meanings for women about love, sex, and heartache. Kudos to Addonizionism--and I will strive to not shy away from writing about the truth of the most natural thing a human can do.

Feminism and related ponderings

Feminism and its many vestibules are not unfamiliar to me (afterall, I did take several Womens Studies classes during undergrad, right?). Much of my academic work asks me to critically analyze literature and texts with different lenses; a feminist lens being a very important way of viewing society and power relationships. But what I have recently found, with my random scribbles and poems written for class--is that the feminist movement is indeed a dynamic one, with changing definitions and role-models to match. I finished a poem entitled, "neo-feminism through one night stands" about two months ago. It is mainly about the simple (or maybe not so simple) attainment of power for women during casual sex. For revisions, I was asked to be a little more innovative and was suggested using an epigraph from the many resources available (e.g. Cosmopolitan magazine), which are huge proponents of guiltless sex for women. So, I thought I landed on a landmine when my personal experiences and fluttered thoughts converged into this "neo-feminism" idea of using sex explicitly as power (but like most of academia, someone else has already pondered the same question). I did some research and found that there is a "new" wave of feminism called "lipstick feminism." I'm not quite sure how accepted the movement is, but here is the wiki definition: "Lipstick feminism also referred to as "stiletto feminism" or "slut feminism"...also associates sex with and the power of sexual allure as power over men."

So, agree with that working definition or not, the issue of sex and empowerment definitely plays a pivotal role in how the modern and successful woman is perceived. For example, the women of Sex and the City have undoubtedly helped shape what is thought of as "powerful" or even "sexy/beautiful" and have even caused an influx of similarly scripted shows like Cashmere Mafia and Lipstick Jungle. What does that say for the rest of real American women who may not have the socio-economic means that Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte have, but instead have the choice to engage in one-night stands and promiscuous behavior, granted it does not affect their views on equality? As a female, I know that we judge each other for our lack of self control when it comes to engaging in promiscuous behavior when feelings are involved, but why do we tune in weekly for the "dramas" where emotion and sex are not mutually exclusive? I'm not exactly sure if I would consider myself a complete proponent of "lipstick feminism" but I will stand defiantly behind a woman's right to choose whether she wants to fulfill either her sexual or emotional desires...it really is her right to choose. And for the men out there, sex can be used as power--you know that. But the main premise of feminism is that it provide equality in ALL spheres...including sex. The power struggle has shifted, even in sexual politics and perhaps it takes a movement such as "lipstick feminism" to further expose the hushed inequality between men and women (in politics, in economics, in religion, it goes on, and on and on).

With that said, I want to further address the issue of the detrimental effect of dichotomizing typical traits to both male and female genders. Why do we complain about lack of equality (e.g. in the workplace and professional arenas) and then proceed to exclude strong women who are atypically female and call them "bitches?" This contradiction causes blood ruptures in my brain. Smear campaign aside, this is currently happening to Hillary Clinton, candidate for President. Is it an inherent "weakness" of hers that she does not seem timid behind a microphone and podium or is she pigeonholing herself as "the bitch" who will never win the hearts of Americans who want a maternal-figure? We claim that we are ready for a strong, intelligent, independent woman who has enough mettle to represent the female population, yet we are quick to prescribe that the reason many of Americans won't vote for Hillary is because she is a "bitch." Let's really let that thought marinate for a while, and hopefully better reasons why we will/won't vote for her will emerge.

I apologize for neglecting to talk about how "lipstick feminism" affects the GLBT population...wish I had more facts on that and it would really be interesting to see those dynamics.